What shall we now do? We were there standing in the shadows during the death of Yeshua.

We saw His suffering

We saw His agony

We saw His compassion to the others on their crucifixion stakes

We saw the gambling

We saw the darkness

We stood by, doing nothing

We heard strange sounds

We saw His blood.

We heard His cries

We heard His forsaken cry

We heard the final gasp for breath







How could this be?

We saw His lifeless body taken from the stake

We saw His body prepared for burial.

Now it is Shabbat.

I am to rest.

How can I rest?

I can’t believe this happened.

How did it happen?

I feel helpless

I feel despair

I feel disbelief

I feel abandoned

I feel disappointed

I feel tossed away

I feel empty

I have no direction

I have no idea what happened

I have no idea what to do

This is Shabbat yet my soul is not at rest!

I am angry

I am befuddled

I am confused

I am in despair

I am directionless

I am empty

I am forsaken

I am gloomy

I have grief

I hate this!

I am heavy-hearted

I am ill

I am joyless

I am lethargic

I am lifeless

I am melancholy

I can’t move

I am morose

I have no feelings

I am out of sorts

I am pressed

I cannot get quiet

I cannot find rest

I sorrow

I am torn up

I am tortured

I am upset

I have no victory

I am woeful

I am exasperated

I yearn

I have no zeal

It is Shabbat but I have no rest. What were the last three years all about, God? How we heard His words. How He spoke to our hearts…now this?

Oh God, help me in my unbelief!

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BBarri Cae Seif (formerly Mallin)  is an instructor, author, and theologian. Her experience has led her through opportunities in corporate sales, Sunday school education, travel, Bible college instruction, authoring, conference speaking and twice annual trips to Israel as President of a humanitarian organization. 

In addition, Barri maintains her status as online faculty at several universities, teaching the Graduate level Business classes and undergraduate Bible and Business classes. She also serves as a content chair for several doctoral students. She also is President of Maasay Yahdav, a charity that brings humanitarian aid to Israel twice yearly.

Barri holds a Ph.D. in Biblical Studies from Trinity Theological Seminary. Her focus was the Exegetical study of Romans 10:4. She earned an MBA from Amberton University with concentration in General Management. She earned a BA in Psychology at Stephens College.

Her published works include three devotionals, 
Intimate Moments with the Hebrew Names of God, Bridge-Logos Publishers, 1999.
The Name – HaShem Daily Devotional Worship, CreateSpace Publishers, 2010.
There’s Just Something about That Name, Bridge-Logos Publishers, 2011.

Her response to the love of Jesus is what guides her. She currently resides in Ovilla, Texas, with her husband, Dr. Jeffrey L Seif.

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